


Sisyphus

by apathys_whore



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Poetry, Cancer, Gen, referenced suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26594218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apathys_whore/pseuds/apathys_whore
Summary: Memos on coping with my mother's cancer.
Kudos: 2





	1. Devour

Bombed out   
Drugged up  
Rising tide of slime  
Swarm of locusts scattering  
Screaming now's the time  
Bereft of focus   
Fear will choke us  
Meld me to your side

I wanna be anywhere but here  
I wanna be anyone but me  
Something worthy  
Something glowing  
Something that is free

Drag me down into the depths  
Into the blackness of the sea  
Where the pressure crushes everything  
I've ever longed to be

I'm bombed out  
Drugged up   
Hollowed out inside  
Cram my body in the hearse  
And take me for a ride

I wanna feel like nothing  
I want to cease to be  
Blissful, vapid, ignorant  
My eyes no longer see

I wanna be anywhere but here  
I wanna be anyone but me  
Something worthy   
Something glowing  
Something that is free


	2. Mother

You made me as a separate entity to devour in times of lean. Invested in my sweet flesh tenderly. Nurtured me beneath you endless bow. And now that the times of wasting have come I kneel before you, an anointed sacrifice, head bowed in suplication. Awaiting gentle death.

I've waited to die for you my whole life. To answer the call to my purpose. I wanted you to have me. To devour me alive. I was so tired, so ready to let go. But when the moment came they told me no. 

Was I not good enough? Am I so worthless that I failed at even this? They say you can't have me. That I need to live. But no one ever taught me how. I am too soft for this. Doe eyed; fragile. Tentative as a fawn. Guileless as dazed cattle wandered too far from the paddock. Spared the slaughter but left to rot. 


End file.
